The sleep clinic was strategically located next to a Sleep Country mattress showroom. It’d be interesting to know which came first – the clinic or the store!

Behind a ‘clinical’ reception desk, there was a long corridor with rooms on either side. I had earlier opted for a single bed and room. [One person can accompany a sleep-deprived zombie.] I was looking for a good night’s sleep.

Before long my wife was hooked up to a machine with hundreds of wires.

Sometime in the middle of the night I woke up to a series of tremors. I felt I was standing in the middle of Grand Central Station sometime in the sixties watching the trains go by.

With great courage I stepped into the corridor. I realized that there was a snoring symphony being conducted behind closed doors. I stood outside a couple of doors and listened. It went from snoring to whistling to snoring. The person behind the opposite door was trying to drown everything else. He or she sounded like a skidding car with ABS on.

At the end of the corridor a door opened. A man came out and walked past me like a zombie with hundreds of wires attached to his body.

When I reached the reception, I found myself in the presence of the Grand Conductor of the Snoring Symphony. She was sitting on a high stool watching six monitors. Each and every movement and note of the symphony members were being recorded. I stood there for a while watching the lead singer, my wife.

The results came back a week later. My wife was diagnosed with a disorder called sleep apnea. Snoring, breathlessness, and tiredness were just some of the symptoms.

One solution was to put on a mask at night which pumps air. The mask covers the entire nose. Every time I accompanied my wife to the sleep doctor, I’d recommend that she upgrades the mask to one that covers the mouth. You see, my wife talks in her sleep as well!

Years ago, soon after we got married, my wife jumped up in the middle of the night and asked me, “Madhav. Madhav. Is my mother-in-law dead?” Even then I had the presence of mind to respond calmly. “Not yet my dear. Now go back to sleep.”